Funny jokes

Ryan and I went to see a movie the other night. We were squeezing in a trip to the accountant to pick up our taxes before the movie, so we didn't have time to stop and get anything terribly wonderful for dinner before we made it to the movie. There was a Subway across the street, so we picked up a sandwich, and Ryan stuffed it in the pocket of his hoodie before we went into the theater. I was feeling a slight twinge of guilt as we walked in, but it all disappeared when we went to the concessions counter.

Let me take a slight tangent to point out one of those differences that you don't really think about until you get married. At my family's house, we have little cups we use for every meal. At one point in the distant past, we used to have glasses. The combined efforts of any number of under-age dish washers has succeeded in eliminating them, one by one from our dish collection. The cups, on the other hand, have turned out to be pretty bullet-proof, and have managed to survive all of the clumsy dishwashers in residence. They have proved to be so tough that they are sticking around for another go-around for my niece and nephews to put them through the paces. Of course we have little cups with our meals. It works!

After a trip or two home to visit my family, Ryan pointed out to me that it takes about 3 or 4 re-fills of one of those bullet-proof wonders to make it through a meal. I hadn't noticed. I don't drink as much during a meal, and in a pinch can go without and not miss it. Not the case with Ryan. He has actually considered bringing his own 16-ounce glass with him when we come to visit.

Back to the movie theater. Ryan needed something to drink to go with dinner, so I went up to the counter and asked for a large bottle of water. "That will be $4.50," the nice kid at the counter said. "$4.50?!?" I knew it would be more than one would expect, but four dollars and fifty cents for a bottle of water--something I can get out of my tap for free? I started laughing. The kid at the counter started laughing too. I forked over the dough, took the water, and went to the movie, my guilt about the sandwich in Ryan's pocket being completely absolved.

We saw Alice in Wonderland. Graphics were fantastic. Plot...meh. Don't waste your money. The best part of the movie was the pre-show subliminal message from Sprint. It was a short movie of a kid writing a note on a slate in a one-room school house, getting caught and getting spanked with a paddle. Cut to grouchy old man sitting next to kid, taking away kid's phone and saying, "...and THAT'S why I don't text when I go the movies."

Cheap Thrills

I'm always looking for ways to make the mundane exciting. Example: practicing signing money numbers. There are a few subtleties when signing money numbers that students don't always pick up right away. I've found through experience that unless they really understand how to sign $1-$9 before you add on money numbers for higher denominations, they end up signing things that could roughly be interpreted as: $3 dollars.

I found a set of colored Jenga blocks in my closet at school. I decided to give my students fake money, and have them "buy" the color they wanted. (The different colors cost different amounts of money.) They all got a chance to come up and tell me what color and how much, which was exactly what I wanted. What I didn't expect was how much they got into the game. I have never seen all of my students on the edge of their seats like that! I heard one girl comment on her way out the door to her friend: "I was starting to get dizzy from holding my breath." Transformers, step aside. All you really need for a night of nail-biting excitement is a set of Jenga blocks.

On a different note, we had the World Language Fair on Wednesday. Many thanks to Dixon and Linda for being willing to help out! It was a long night of noise and chaos. I required my students to go (naturally!), and I've been collecting their "passports" today in class--their proof of attendance and a big hunk of their grade. Most of my students went. I have been thoroughly impressed by the creativity of the students who didn't go. Forget "the dog ate my homework" line. Here's a sampling of what I've heard:

- I was driving to the Fair. Honest. And then I got in a car accident and couldn't come.

- My grandmother died. (There were a few grandmothers who died this week.)

- I had an allergic reaction to a cavity being filled, and my face got all swollen up.

- I got lost on the way there.

- Crap! That was last night?!?

- I was on my way there. For reals. And then my work called. This guy didn't show up for his shift, and I was the ONLY person who could fill his shift.

I'm not saying I'm doubting any of these reasons. It's just been interesting to hear the parade of excuses as they come in. My response: "Wow. Here's your alternate assignment. Have fun with the research project. I'll be anxiously awaiting your presentation in class next week."